In Praise of The Glimpse

Apr 25, 2018 | Blog

The other morning I was on my way to make a cup of tea, and just as I moved to turn on the kettle, I caught a sudden glimpse of my children (aged 13 and 9), where they sat talking nearby. Seemingly unaware of my presence, they were just conversing in that mundane sibling way they do~ nothing special~ and honestly I couldn’t even hear what they were saying. Still~ something about it halted me in my tracks, taking my breath away, sending my hand to my heart.

I think it was the intimacy pulsing between them; the light of love that moved between their eyes; a comforting flow of friendship in their gestures. It was the way in which they both seemed so unguarded in that moment, truly seeing one another and being seen. It was just a glimpse of an ordinary moment between my kids, and yet it was an utterly astonishing sight to receive.

Feeling moved, I quietly progressed with making my tea, getting a mug out of the cabinet, and while slowly unwrapping my tea bag, I pondered the gift of the glimpse. I contemplated all the many, different glimpses we are given in our daily lives~ as many as we show up for; as many as we choose to receive.

You know these moments in life~ I know you do. When it seems something opens to allow a certain quality of presence, a grace of true seeing, a returning home~ where everything is seen to be in its right place, and the love so clearly shines through?

I’m thinking about how honored I feel whenever I catch startling moments of kindness out in the world. Watching that big, burly truck driver climb quickly out of his truck the other day to rush to the side of an elderly homeless man, walking inebriated, way too close to the traffic. The gentleness and compassion I witnessed: the truck driver’s strong hands protectively guiding this homeless elder to a safer place. Oh my goodness. How a glimpse like that changes everything, melts every jaded bone in my body, sending tears of appreciation to my eyes for the countless ways ordinary people rise to the occasion of courageous love. Right?

Or~ what about the everyday courage it takes to choose love, when everything in us wants to choose something else? Those moments we find ourselves indulging some behavior or addiction we’ve outgrown, and we suddenly catch ourselves? We might be in the full swing of mental spin or emotional drama, some story of why life should be going differently than it is, some inner or outer rant of complaint, and all of a sudden~ by grace~ we stop. We somehow overhear ourselves, and remember something closer to the heart, to stillness, to what we love. We are suddenly available to some glimpse of deeper truth.

I’m remembering a recent moment cooking breakfast for my kids while helping to pack their lunches. It was the typical flurry of a busy school morning. And just as I called them to sit down, Arayla plummeted into a loud, downward spiral of teen image crisis. I nodded to her, my empathy clearly strained, and, rushing to butter the toast, I suddenly noticed that Ezra, still only half-dressed, was chasing the dog wildly in circles through the house. I could feel all my control issues coming up, hot anger rising to my cheeks and sad overwhelm filling my chest. I noticed the pressure of the clock pounding down, only minutes before we had to leave, the eggs were getting cold, and an old gremlin of “feeling disrespected” was starting to bare its teeth in my mind.

And then~ whew, suddenly~ a moment of presence, a single breath of remembrance, and with it the grace of self-compassion, stopping me in my tracks, returning my heart to itself, returning my palms to a moment of bowing in to center. Just in time, with a single glimpse, I was somehow granted the patience and clarity with which to skillfully navigate our mundane morning madness.

Just a glimpse of presence is often all it takes to call Love and kindness back into action.

But then what about the moments when we don’t catch ourselves in time? When our triggers get the best of us, and we react and respond to life from our pain, rather than from our hearts? And then later, maybe only a few minutes or an hour later, or maybe later that night, or even a week or month or year later, suddenly we are struck with genuine remorse for our mistake? How our own integrity alerts us to self-betrayal? I’m so grateful for that sacred glimpse that clues us in on how we were off. What a sweet humility we find when we can apologize, take responsibility, and ask for forgiveness. What mercy we are allowed when we can open to the beauty of forgiving ourselves.

That precious recent moment, after days of relational strain with my beloved partner, when in the private darkness of our sacred bedroom space, I could finally let down my guard enough to look into his eyes and really see him~ deeper than the passing triggers and beyond the pain of what was momentarily unresolved between us~ to his beauty, his goodness, his integrity and breathtaking innocence. What generosity is required of us at times in order to see the deeper truth of one another, free of stories and projections. What relief was found in that sacred moment of remembrance , arising just in time, allowing me to claim a fresh witnessing of this amazing man I love. What a gorgeous breath of softening follows that kind of glimpse.

I’m praising the glimpse, always available in the open heart of NOW, wherein life witnesses itself through fresh eyes, the truth is simply seen, and a wave of gratitude floods our perception.

I’m reminded of that riveting invitation from my teacher Gangaji’s teacher, Papaji, who said that all you need is one glimpse of the Truth, a single moment of True Recognition, in order to be true to that for the rest of our lives. Can you imagine the relief in settling for only one glimpse of the Sacred? Letting that single glimpse be more than enough proof for what’s unspeakably holy in existence??

How greedy we tend to be for MORE. More peace, more comfort, more wondrous experiences, more security, more happiness, more wild success, more juicy intimacy, more glimpses, give me, give me~ more, more, more!

And yet in any given moment, we need only find enough presence to recognize what’s already here, more than enough, within us.

In any given moment we can turn to meet this unruly, unmet yearning reeling in our own hearts with open curiosity, gentleness and respect. We can dare to beckon a glimpse of our own fleeting aliveness~ wherein what’s gloriously infinite and mortally temporary somehow share the same, precious, human breath. We can dare to summon wonder.

I’m praising the sacred glimpse I receive in this very moment, Dear One, as I carefully write to your listening, as I notice this deep, ever- growing love for us, leading the way. This deep, ever-growing love for us, leading the way.

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Dream Prayer: Loving The Thief

Heading into prayer space this weekend. So deeply grateful to have the chance to gather with kindreds around the flame and sit with what is churning in our hearts, and in the great heart of our world in these tender, troubling times.I had a potent dream a couple of nights ago that I am still working with deeply. The dream was about my car (a common symbol for me) getting stolen by an irreverent, narcissistic, nonchalant and arrogant drug-lord thief! I tried everything to get the thief to give m […]

Birthing A Star

This morning as I lay in my bed in the dark, gently transitioning into the new day, I saw the light pouring out through the crack of Ezra’s bedroom door, which shares a wall with my own bedroom.

I stretched my ears to listen to the most marvelous sound~ a sound that is deeply familiar to me by now~ of him […]

My Grandmother, The Queen

My beloved Grandmother, my mother’s mother, Dorothy Dannenbaum Rudolph, fondly known by us all as “Dede,” passed on from this world late last night at the seasoned age of 94.

She died in the comfort of her own home, in her own bed, with her two loving daughters by her side. She had been […]

“Come In”

Tonight I go to tuck Ezra (7.5) into bed, and there’s a little handwritten note taped to his door that says: “Come in.”
I walk into his room and find him already in his bed, lying there quietly in the dark, waiting for me.
He asks, somberly: “Did you see the note?”
I say: “Yes, I did!”
He says, still serious in tone: “So that’s why you came in?”
I chuckle a little and say: “Yes, that’s why I came in.”
He asks: “Did you see the *first* note I put on my door?”
I say: “No I didn’t. What did it say?”
He responds: “It said: ‘Do not come in.’”
I say with surprise: […]


For Mother’s Day today I wrote to my mother:

“My dear, beautiful, amazing Mom!!

Happy Mother’s day!! I love you so much. What a lucky life I live with you as my mother!! 

If you knew all the moments my heart beats with sheer gratitude for who you are, and how you show up in this world, and in my life specifically, along with the […]

Retrograde Mama Morning

This morning was one of those mornings where it was quite clear that all the retrograde planets were colliding and exploding in my very home! Ezra’s alarm didn’t go off at 6 am as he was expecting it to, disrupting his cherished self-made morning rhythm of showering and playing early, before Arayla and I rise, so he can claim his 7-year-old space and his center.

And so I woke […]

The Thankless Job~ & How It Invites Us To BE The Thanks

I remember one time, when my kids were much smaller, maybe 5 and 2 years old, we had just gotten over a horrendous family stomach flu. You know the kind~ where just like dominos, everyone goes down? One by one, everyone is violently, grossly sick, all over the house. And then, after scrubbing the bathrooms and doing 15 loads of laundry and taking care of everyone for days, finally the Mom gets it too?

I distinctly remember speaking to my dear mother at the time over […]

​Sandcastle Lessons for Tenacity, Generosity and Surrender!

Enjoying a glorious beach day yesterday in Point Reyes with the children and our beautiful puppy, I had the luxury of just sitting there, quietly, soaking in the abundance of beauty~ while witnessing them all playing in the sand together, my gorgeous beach-loving little ones.

Towards the end of our time I noticed the kids were intently focused on building a sandcastle together, but […]

A Birthing Day

Last night I curled up with my beloved girl at bedtime, on her 11th birthday eve, stroking her long, auburn hair, massaging her sweet golden shoulders. I snuggled in to tell her, lingeringly, in annual ritual fashion, the glorious and epic story of her body’s birth...


Several weeks ago, one night at bedtime, my son Ezra (7) got overly exhausted and intensely triggered, and in his fury he yelled at me, viciously: “You aren’t even my MOM!!” And then, fuming, spitting, he said: “You are such a fucking!!”

I felt astonishingly calm in the face of his foul-mouthed rage. In fact, I found myself […]