Earlier this week, for two days in a row I wholeheartedly showed up to teach a webinar to an empty room of zero participants!
The day before that, on the first day of the webinar, I had one attendee, sitting there in her little zoom box, receiving every word.
Because I had a small handful of people who signed up for this webinar in hopes of catching the recordings after the fact, I felt responsible for showing up to the calls, and for speaking to their potential listening, even if they weren’t present.
On the one hand, speaking to an empty room was natural and enjoyable! I love being in my own presence, and I enjoy contemplating these topics, particularly from an earnest desire to serve and support anyone who might be listening down the road.
On the other hand, I could feel myself passing some kind of spiritual test. My intention for it to be a live class, with a live audience, in contrast with the reality of nobody coming, could have easily triggered a tender sense of failure.
But I didn’t touch it! I didn’t make it mean anything. I remained still, and I faithfully showed up to the empty room, with my open heart available for the topics at hand.
How many of us continuously put ourselves out there in entrepreneurial offerings, worrying: “But what if nobody signs up, or nobody comes?”
It’s undeniably liberating when we just let the dreaded thing happen! Hardly anyone signed up, and nobody came~ So what? Not the first time, nor will it be the last.
Whether I’m speaking to a hundred thousand people someday or consistently nobody at all, it will always be the same heart speaking to the same heart. I’m always only writing, speaking, and offering myself— from and to— my own human heart.
There’s something beautiful and perfect about the notion of enthusiastically teaching to an empty room. It makes me laugh when I really let it in!
In fact, as I was heading into my office to teach this webinar, I called out to my daughter: “Ok Love, I’ve gotta go teach this class now—to nobody at all! Nobody’s waiting!”
There was a moment of quiet, and then we both totally cracked up. It’s so deliciously freeing to just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. What an intensely weird time in an increasingly weird world.
Again and again, I come back to the beautiful teaching of Minding My Own Business.
It was definitely my business to hear the call from my muse to offer this webinar.
It was my business to put it out there in the way I was guided to, and then to show up and speak in the way I had agreed to.
Not my business how many people signed up.
Not my business whether the offering resonates or aligns with others.
Not my business to make the lack of resonance or alignment mean anything about its (or my own) essential value.
It IS however my business to receive this mirror from life however I choose.
Will I be rushing to offer this again in this way? Not likely!
Do I regret following my instinct to offer it? Not at all. My muse is so innocently trustworthy.
I’ll tell you though, I’m in such an ongoing prayer around right relationship with all that I have to give. I want to discover the best, most aligned and powerfully resonant ways to expand my heart’s offerings in our world in these times.
(Particularly considering how little success I seem to have navigating the current metrics, algorithms, and requirements involved in online marketing!)
What lights me up consistently is my true love for writing and my deeply fulfilling one-on-one work with all my beloved clients.
Vulnerable truth be told, I’d really love for God to find a way to start employing me as a PAID writer and bringing me opportunities to share my written words with a wider audience.
That would delight and fulfill my heart’s calling like nothing else!
What if we could all be generously compensated for whatever we are most authentically designed for and inspired to provide?
As I’ve struggled to market and sell online offerings, for years now, investing thousands in the latest marketing tactics from the very best folks, straining to discover aligned and authentic ways of bringing my heart’s teachings to life, I continuously receive a reflection that this just does not seem to be the way for me, at least not at this time.
And so, I burn. 🔥 I sit at my altar and offer it all up, again and again.
I revel in the truth that I am simply and profoundly alive for love. What an honor this is!
Here’s to devotedly listening to our heart’s callings, and passing life’s tender tests.
Here’s to courageously knowing what’s our business and what’s not our business, and when necessary, showing up to teach to an empty room!