“True Fax” on Middle School Drama, Car-Ride Rapport & Deciphering Teen Codes

May 6, 2022 | Blog, Featured Watch

Yesterday I had the honor of sharing a 45-minute car ride with my 13-year-old Middle School Stud, Ezra Star, and while our conversation was humorous in moments and enlightening in others, I quickly noticed that his most frequent response to anything I would say was the expression, “True fax.”

This sounds and seems just like the word “facts,” but Ezra explained it can also be spelled, “fax.”

“You know, like a fax machine?” he explained.

“Oh, yeah, right…” I said. (?!?) 🤪

Apparently, “True fax” is an appropriate response to anything someone says that resonates as extremely true for us.

Me: “Wow, all this beautiful rain is making the hills in our valley so green. This is probably the greenest it will be for the rest of the year! Drink it in!”

Ezra, looking out at the surrounding hills, nodding coolly: “True fax.”

Me, motherly: “You seem tired, Baby. Maybe you’ve been staying up too late at night?”

Ezra, emotionless: “Fax.”

But I also learned that if it something really needs to be emphasized as deeply true, then the appropriate response is: “On God!”

Me: “Do you promise you remembered to turn in your science project today?”

Ezra, emphatically: “On God!” 🙌

At one point Ezra got more talkative and began to share some insightful reflections: “Hey Mom, I’ve given this some thought, and I’ve decided I’m not going to share so much of my middle school drama with you anymore.”

Me, curious: “Oh really, why’s that?”

Ezra: “Yeah, it’s not that I don’t want to share things with you anymore? It’s just that I know it’s kind of intense, the things I share, and I don’t want to stress you out.”

Me, sounding mildly stressed: “Oh no… Did something else happen that I should know about?” 😳

Ezra, sighing: “Mom. This is exactly what I mean. I’ve been tracking this pattern. Even if you think you want to know about my dramas? Trust me—you don’t.”

Me, innocently: “I don’t?”

Ezra: “No. It usually triggers you and changes your mood.”

Me, considering this. Then winking at him: “True Fax?” 😉

Ezra rolled his eyes, giggling.

Me, more serious: “Well, what do you think triggers me about it?”

Ezra, thoughtfully: “Oh… I think it’s probably the toxic immaturity, the pettiness, and unkindness, the constant break-ups, and make-ups. I’ve just noticed it’s hard on your nervous system to hear about it. It bothers you. It’s better that I don’t tell you.”

Me, impressed: “Wow. You’ve noticed it’s hard on my nervous system?”

Ezra, nodding: “Um. Yeah, I did. You’re kind of transparent, Mom.”

We both laughed. I said: “True fax.” 😎

Then: “Well my love, I commend your tracking skills, and your desire to care for my nervous system. But I do want you to feel like you can always talk to me about whatever’s going on, even if it seems like it stresses me out?”

Ezra: “Yeah, I will if I really need to. I’ve just noticed it kind of drives you crazy when I tell you about stupid dramas. So maybe I don’t need to do that anymore?”

Me, considering this: “Maybe the dramas drive you a little bit crazy too? Did you think of that? I mean if it’s so toxic and immature, maybe you’re ready to make a different choice about where you give your attention?”

Ezra, shrugging: “Mom, immature drama is just what we do at this age. I shouldn’t take it personally about myself and neither should you.”

Me, celebratory: “On God!” 🙌

Ezra, cooler than cool, shakes his head, laughing: “No, Mom. Just no. Please. Don’t.”


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