The Many Benefits of Daily Smooshing

Apr 25, 2014 | Musings From A Conscious Parenting


This morning in my bed, first thing, my eyes just barely, bravely opening into our new day, my little sensuous creature-son appeared by my bedside, threw back my covers, dove into bed next to me, and said in a boisterous voice that probably felt quiet to him: “Goodmorning. I love you Mama. Can you please smoosh me now?” So, so deeply still in my blissful transition zone, and yet how could I resist his request? I sleepily mustered up the energy and rolled all my weight on top of him and kissed his sweet little creature face. Typical of the ritual, as soon as he couldn’t easily breathe, after about 20 seconds, he lovingly pushed me off, and, sighing deeply, said: “Thanks. Thanks a lot Mom.”

Along with being perhaps the most affectionate, sensual little person ever, he’s always really liked to feel sheer physical pressure and weight.  Since before he could even talk it was easy as his mom to intuitively get that he needed to be deeply contacted, physically met, wrestled and cuddled of course, but sometimes almost momentarily trapped, contained by another’s body, pressure and weight. I remember when he was about 10 months old I needed to literally roll around with him and on top of him in order to get him to sleep. Little wild lion cub. I’m sure there is some pathological term for this, having to do with sensory integration or some such thing. My mama-sense shows me that he is simply so intensely embodied, with such huge energy as a soul inside that relatively small form, that his body is deeply comforted by feeling where his edges are; to feel truly physically met with presence, fully contained and lovingly constrained, in ritual.

This morning, lying there with him, out of curiosity I found my morning voice to ask him: “Why do you like to be smooshed, Ezra?” Without hesitation he said: “Oh! Smooshing? So many reasons, Mom. Sometimes it makes me feel more love. Sometimes it makes me feel more safe. Sometimes it makes me feel my power inside my heart. Sometimes if I am missing you then I do not miss you any more. Sometimes it makes me feel very calm and relaxed. So many reasons to like smooshing, Mom.”

Yes, indeed. And how true this is for many of us, right? Here’s to smooshing and being smooshed, on a regular basis. And here’s to knowing what we like and asking for it. <3

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Praising Angels

One of the many gifts that came from my early childhood intimacy with traumatizing illness, was the way in which it opened my psychic centers to be able to “see” and “hear” energetic realities that remain elusive for most. While it took me a couple of decades to work...

Stewarding a New Way

As I witness all this outrageous trauma playing out on the global stage between man and woman, one of the most poignant components it illuminates for me is the power we hold in how we choose to steward our daughters and sons in these times. What is our part to play in...

Smoky Grateful Boredom Breakthroughs

My son Ezra and I had a glorious breakthrough about boredom a few days ago, and I’m inspired to share it with you, in case it just might be contagious. (And no, it wasn’t about boredom breeding creativity or genius or whatever it was someone wise once said, though I’m...

A Year of Leaning In

A couple of weeks ago Orionne and I celebrated our one year anniversary! What a meaningful threshold for us to cross. And what a profound year of leaning in it has been. We met (re-met) one year ago in July and immediately bowed in to a most extraordinary love. We...

“Free of Mom”~ Attachment & Surrender

The other morning I was sitting at my desk writing, when suddenly my son Ezra was beside me, tapping me on the shoulder in his fluffy red bathrobe. As I turned to greet his morning brightness, he surprised me by tumbling completely into my arms, so I had to move fast...

“But either way, isn’t Love always the answer?”

“But either way, isn’t Love always the answer?”

“But any way you look at it, isn’t Love always the answer?” That’s what my beloved partner said to me yesterday with fierce truth pouring from moist eyes, devotedly calling me back, in a moment when defense had gotten the better of me, to the common ground of our...

Graduation from a Life Chapter; The Endless Changing of Form

I’ve got some big news to share~ about a large life change in the works for my sweet family. One night, about 6 weeks ago, as I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I was suddenly struck with an unexpected lightning bolt of revelation. It went something like this: “And Now You will Move With The Children Back To Ashland.” It truly felt more like an announcement from my soul, than any kind of choice I was being offered to contemplate. I was shocked, confused, and somewhat triggered. I […]

Being Single~ Yearning, Prayer, Surrender and Fulfillment I’m inspired to tell you a story from a recent bedtime conversation I had with my son, on the topic of being single, and the prayer for partnership. It’s a tender topic to personally speak and write about, but one that so many of us share in common. And so I humbly offer my voice to the collective conversation.I’ve been contemplating my own single womanhood and single motherhood a lot lately, in a particularly focused way. It’s interesting to consider the stigm […]

Nurturing Self-Love as Healthy Self-Image~ A Clothes-Shopping Story

Due to the vulnerable nature of this writing, this piece is published with explicit permission and blessings from my brave and generous daughter Arayla, who after reading it shared her hope that our story might serve in some small way~ especially other mothers and daughters, in navigating the steep challenge of healthy self- image and radical self-love in our culture. One of my most treasured delights as the mother of my beloved daughter Arayla, (newly 12 years old,) is the incredibly swee […]

Our World, Our Mirror~ Rupture, Projection, Responsibility & Repair

Our World, Our Mirror~ Rupture, Projection, Responsibility & Repair

It's difficult to know what to say in these times, but I'll give it a try.  While this horrifying drama is playing out on the world stage, I’m finding it useful to notice how this translates in my own privileged life. For it to get this crazy on the outer stage of our...