Speaking From Our Center; Claiming Our Medicine

Aug 29, 2014 | Musings From A Conscious Parenting

Picture

After we got home this afternoon from the children’s all-morning orientation at their new school, I was fully ready to ground out, clean our home, and relax. But Ezra (5) had other ideas. He wanted to go to the skatepark and work on his new tricks.

I told him clearly, with a deep breath: “We can go at 4:00, my love. First we are going to just settle in at home, play a bit, and I’m going to clean up our house.”

This must not have been a satisfactory answer for him, because every 5 minutes or so after that he would come to me and say insistently: “Mom? Can we please go to the skatepark now?!” And I would repeat myself: “No, love. We will be going to the skatepark at 4:00. “

After the third time, it got a bit annoying and I got a little sterner as I looked into his eyes: “Ezra~ please stop asking me that. I told you we are going a little later.” He nodded his head somberly and went back into the garage to play on his skateboard in there.

About 5 minutes later, he came back once again to me, and said: “Mom?” I looked at him with raised eyebrows, (as in: “You’re not going to ask me again, are you?”) And he held up his palm in the stop position, and said in a very mature, non-whiny voice: “Mom~Just listen to me, ok?” I sat back in my chair, gave him my full attention and said: “Ok, I’m listening.”

He said: “Mom. I’m trying not to be all grabby-grabby about what I want? Really, I’m trying. But: Skateboarding is like~ my LIFE! I am feeling like it is my…um…my” (He put his finger on his chin, eyes raised, word-searching: “..it’s my passion! And I really need to move all this nervous energy in my head? From like, my new school and stuff? ” (He motioned to his head) “…and like, bring it down into my body.” (As he motioned with his hands, down to his chest and legs…)

I looked at him, astonished and impressed with his centered somatic articulation. I said, smiling: “Wow, Ezra. That was really clear. That really helped me to understand why it’s so important for you to go to the skatepark as soon as possible. “ He nodded, sincerely, and then added: “Skateboarding is like my medicine, Mom. You know? Like dance is for you? Or prayer ceremony is? I just really need it right now.”

With that choice of language I giggled outloud… It’s amazing when I hear my own vernacular spewed back at me from the little loves. They really are always listening, absorbing, receiving, learning.

I said: “Yes, Ezra, we can go to the skatepark on the sooner side. How about 20 minutes from now? At 3:15, when both hands on the clock are on the 3, ok? Thank you for explaining that to me and speaking from such a grounded place.”

He said: “Yes!” his fist thrust in the air, and strode away with his head held high, clearly pleased with himself for his successful communication strategy.
Apparently, speaking from our centers and claiming our medicine really pays off in this household. 😉 

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Opening Wider & Diving Deeper into the Immeasurable Beauty & Pain of Life

It’s not a spiritual requirement to be fascinated by what inhibits our greatest aliveness; and somehow compelled to uncover and reveal surprising pathways to deeper freedom.

And yet it did resonate for me when recently I heard brilliant author Brene Brown say: “Our capacity for whole-heartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted.”

Yes, thank you. When we discover firsthand the direct relationship between meeting […]

Oedipal Bliss

My sweet boy Ezra Star (6.5) jumped onto my lap today, throwing his little arms around my neck, and apparently milking the Oedipal Phase for all it’s worth, announced: “You know, Mama? We can’t really get married to each other. Even if we wanted. Because you are 41, and I am 6 1/2. And it’s just NOT appropriate.”

I burst into giggles and kissed him on both delicious cheeks: “No? That wouldn’t be appropriate?” He laughed too: “No! Even though […]

Lessons of Choice, Failure & Forgiveness

n these last weeks I’ve been pondering the tender intersection of choice, failure, and forgiveness.

Always poignant topics inside a human life vulnerably given to the forces of love and loss, what has driven these issues directly and painfully home to my personal heart of late is the rather angst-filled decision to let our sweet, amazing dog, Ekara Faith, return to the breeder from whom we received her in December.

And let me assure you, right from the start of this tender story, that while it is an intensely difficult choice, I completely trust this is the right choice, the wisest, most compassionate choice~ for this incredibly beautiful dog (who will now be devotedly trained to become a service dog for someone in need) as well as for my broken-hearted family, who truly wants the best life for Ekara, even more than we want to get to love her personally.

After many months mixed with incredible love and intense challenge, realizing we had made a commitment to loving an intensely intelligent dog who needs (and deserves!) […]

Good Enough Again

Last Sunday I had one of those days. It was like a Jesua version of Alexander’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

One thing after another went askew. I won’t even bore or depress you with the detailed account of everything that went wrong. It was like a comedy of errors, except at the time it really didn’t seem funny to me at all.

All day long I barely held it together; triggered by circumstance, humbled by hormones, and challenged by life’s sometimes mean and messy ways.

Finally, when I arrived home that evening, late of course, I walked in the door and Ekara, our 5 month old puppy immediately jumped up onto me and tore a hole in my longtime favorite, most beautiful hooded sweater.

The one I wear every day, through all the seasons~ to work, to be cozy […]

The Blood Test: A Mundane Story of Wound & Repair

Yesterday I had to take my beloved boy Ezra (6) to get some follow-up blood work at the doctor office to investigate more thoroughly some of the numbers that had returned from the tests we had gotten the week prior. Nothing dramatically troubling at this point, just some slight abnormalities worthy of investigation.

Well, needless to say, getting blood drawn from his arm is not my boy’s favorite way to spend a free morning with his Mama. But Ezra is a pretty fearless soul by nature, and so he was buoyant and open-minded until the actual moment came, sitting on my lap in the lab, with the rubber tourniquet tight around his upper arm, while we removed the bandaids that had numbing cream under them, in support of inviting as painless a procedure as possible.

We watched as the nurse kindly and gently prepared the needle and vials in front of us, and then suddenly I felt Ezra tightening and tensing his body against mine, everything in his body instantly transforming into “No!”

The nurse opened the needle and I held his arm steady. And then he suddenly strongly twisted his arm out of the range, making the vein inaccessible, and began resisting, loudly, saying: […]

Heart-Fed Babies Become Heart-Led People

I loved having babies. I loved the relative simplicity of that chapter of parenting. Such a physically raw time, yes, wow; literally growing their bodies from my own flesh and blood, my milk, my chi, my sleeplessness given, helplessly, to the devoted care of these young mammals.

But I loved how my job then was to just feed them my heart, carry […]

The Consequence of Truthtelling; Taking a Bold Stand for Love

This is such a loaded time of year, isn’t it? It can be a beautiful time, yes. Full of sparkly lights and brisk walks bundled in layers, sweetly, arm in arm. In this part of the Northern Hemisphere it is a time of turning inward, into the darker months, shorter days....

A Bone to Pick with God

A couple weekends ago I received the space to finally dive, ceremonially, into the angst and heartache I was carrying following the immensely stressful ordeal we recently went through with my beloved 9 year old daughter Arayla, in which I had been painfully forced to...

A Shark and A Boat

I've noticed the children haven't wanted to speak a lot with each other about Arayla's hospital journey. They've just wanted to recalibrate to one another, to play joyously as well as quarrel in familiar ways. Ezra( almost 6) and I definitely needed to process upon...