I told him clearly, with a deep breath: “We can go at 4:00, my love. First we are going to just settle in at home, play a bit, and I’m going to clean up our house.”
This must not have been a satisfactory answer for him, because every 5 minutes or so after that he would come to me and say insistently: “Mom? Can we please go to the skatepark now?!” And I would repeat myself: “No, love. We will be going to the skatepark at 4:00. “
After the third time, it got a bit annoying and I got a little sterner as I looked into his eyes: “Ezra~ please stop asking me that. I told you we are going a little later.” He nodded his head somberly and went back into the garage to play on his skateboard in there.
About 5 minutes later, he came back once again to me, and said: “Mom?” I looked at him with raised eyebrows, (as in: “You’re not going to ask me again, are you?”) And he held up his palm in the stop position, and said in a very mature, non-whiny voice: “Mom~Just listen to me, ok?” I sat back in my chair, gave him my full attention and said: “Ok, I’m listening.”
He said: “Mom. I’m trying not to be all grabby-grabby about what I want? Really, I’m trying. But: Skateboarding is like~ my LIFE! I am feeling like it is my…um…my” (He put his finger on his chin, eyes raised, word-searching: “..it’s my passion! And I really need to move all this nervous energy in my head? From like, my new school and stuff? ” (He motioned to his head) “…and like, bring it down into my body.” (As he motioned with his hands, down to his chest and legs…)
I looked at him, astonished and impressed with his centered somatic articulation. I said, smiling: “Wow, Ezra. That was really clear. That really helped me to understand why it’s so important for you to go to the skatepark as soon as possible. “ He nodded, sincerely, and then added: “Skateboarding is like my medicine, Mom. You know? Like dance is for you? Or prayer ceremony is? I just really need it right now.”
With that choice of language I giggled outloud… It’s amazing when I hear my own vernacular spewed back at me from the little loves. They really are always listening, absorbing, receiving, learning.
I said: “Yes, Ezra, we can go to the skatepark on the sooner side. How about 20 minutes from now? At 3:15, when both hands on the clock are on the 3, ok? Thank you for explaining that to me and speaking from such a grounded place.”
He said: “Yes!” his fist thrust in the air, and strode away with his head held high, clearly pleased with himself for his successful communication strategy.
Apparently, speaking from our centers and claiming our medicine really pays off in this household. 😉