Resourceful (Hilarious) Sibling Consolation in the Face of Upset

Jun 17, 2014 | Musings From A Conscious Parenting

Picture

Yesterday the kids had their first day of a 1-week Art Camp at Summerfield Waldorf school. Their Papa dropped them off, and somewhat typically, our beloved boy Ezra (5), in all his deep-feeling sensitivity, had a tearfully difficult time with the transition to a new, unfamiliar environment, unfamiliar teacher, rhythm, group of kids, etc. After about 30 minutes of helping him make the challenging transition, Chris had to leave for work, somewhat heart-wrenchingly, since Ezra was still clearly upset and uncomfortable. Thankfully, not longer after he left, Chris got a call from the teacher, assuring him Ezra was now peacefully integrated and enjoying himself.

When I went to fetch them at 2 pm, both kids were beaming, delighted and proud to share with me their many artistic creations. As we started to drive home, I asked Ezra: “So, after Papa left, when you were so sad, my love, what helped you to make the shift?” (Thinking how great it would be for him to track that process for himself, to integrate the learning and evolve his own capacity for emotional resilience.) He answered from his car seat, point-blank: “Well, Arayla told me she would give me $3 if I could find my center, so I stopped crying…”

Astounded, my jaw dropped, I turned to Arayla(9), sitting in the passenger seat beside me, and said: “You actually BRIBED your brother with MONEY to find his center?!” She shrugged, nodding, unapologetic: “Yep. And it totally worked, too.” I cracked up. I said: “Thank you for helping him. And: why did you care to?” She responded with kind sincerity: “I wanted him to get to stay at camp with me.” And then she added, loud enough for Ezra to hear: “Because he’s awesome.” I looked into the rear-view mirror to find Ezra’s face shining in joy to feel his big sister’s caring appreciation for him. Then Arayla turned to him and said, smiling, with a tone of big-sister scolding fondness: “But that was only for today, okay Ezra? Deal? I’m not PAYING you to find your center at camp all week long, alright?” Ezra nodded, happily, swinging his legs: “Okay, Arayla. Deal.”

And we drove on, with me reveling in the brilliance of this profound, hilarious, and tender sibling bond: an understanding, resonance and rapport between them I can’t even begin to fully grasp nor emulate, but can surely continually bow and laugh in the blessing of bearing witness.

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Dream Prayer: Loving The Thief

Heading into prayer space this weekend. So deeply grateful to have the chance to gather with kindreds around the flame and sit with what is churning in our hearts, and in the great heart of our world in these tender, troubling times.I had a potent dream a couple of nights ago that I am still working with deeply. The dream was about my car (a common symbol for me) getting stolen by an irreverent, narcissistic, nonchalant and arrogant drug-lord thief! I tried everything to get the thief to give m […]

Birthing A Star

This morning as I lay in my bed in the dark, gently transitioning into the new day, I saw the light pouring out through the crack of Ezra’s bedroom door, which shares a wall with my own bedroom.

I stretched my ears to listen to the most marvelous sound~ a sound that is deeply familiar to me by now~ of him […]

My Grandmother, The Queen

My beloved Grandmother, my mother’s mother, Dorothy Dannenbaum Rudolph, fondly known by us all as “Dede,” passed on from this world late last night at the seasoned age of 94.

She died in the comfort of her own home, in her own bed, with her two loving daughters by her side. She had been […]

“Come In”

Tonight I go to tuck Ezra (7.5) into bed, and there’s a little handwritten note taped to his door that says: “Come in.”
I walk into his room and find him already in his bed, lying there quietly in the dark, waiting for me.
He asks, somberly: “Did you see the note?”
I say: “Yes, I did!”
He says, still serious in tone: “So that’s why you came in?”
I chuckle a little and say: “Yes, that’s why I came in.”
He asks: “Did you see the *first* note I put on my door?”
I say: “No I didn’t. What did it say?”
He responds: “It said: ‘Do not come in.’”
I say with surprise: […]

Mother

For Mother’s Day today I wrote to my mother:

“My dear, beautiful, amazing Mom!!

Happy Mother’s day!! I love you so much. What a lucky life I live with you as my mother!! 

If you knew all the moments my heart beats with sheer gratitude for who you are, and how you show up in this world, and in my life specifically, along with the […]

Retrograde Mama Morning

This morning was one of those mornings where it was quite clear that all the retrograde planets were colliding and exploding in my very home! Ezra’s alarm didn’t go off at 6 am as he was expecting it to, disrupting his cherished self-made morning rhythm of showering and playing early, before Arayla and I rise, so he can claim his 7-year-old space and his center.

And so I woke […]

The Thankless Job~ & How It Invites Us To BE The Thanks

I remember one time, when my kids were much smaller, maybe 5 and 2 years old, we had just gotten over a horrendous family stomach flu. You know the kind~ where just like dominos, everyone goes down? One by one, everyone is violently, grossly sick, all over the house. And then, after scrubbing the bathrooms and doing 15 loads of laundry and taking care of everyone for days, finally the Mom gets it too?

I distinctly remember speaking to my dear mother at the time over […]

​Sandcastle Lessons for Tenacity, Generosity and Surrender!

Enjoying a glorious beach day yesterday in Point Reyes with the children and our beautiful puppy, I had the luxury of just sitting there, quietly, soaking in the abundance of beauty~ while witnessing them all playing in the sand together, my gorgeous beach-loving little ones.

Towards the end of our time I noticed the kids were intently focused on building a sandcastle together, but […]

A Birthing Day

Last night I curled up with my beloved girl at bedtime, on her 11th birthday eve, stroking her long, auburn hair, massaging her sweet golden shoulders. I snuggled in to tell her, lingeringly, in annual ritual fashion, the glorious and epic story of her body’s birth...

Unconditional

Several weeks ago, one night at bedtime, my son Ezra (7) got overly exhausted and intensely triggered, and in his fury he yelled at me, viciously: “You aren’t even my MOM!!” And then, fuming, spitting, he said: “You are such a fucking!!”

I felt astonishingly calm in the face of his foul-mouthed rage. In fact, I found myself […]